i drew this when i was drunk
what is the actual purpose of fingernails other than to paint them pretty colors and claw out the eyes of your enemies
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
I stay alive for like 3 people lol
what if squidward was a rapper and after all of his songs he went “squid. word”
It’s fucking red.
I’ve literally waited for this video for years. i’ve been reading the gif in the wrong tone the entire time
How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat.
There is no downside to this at all
This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great.
I’d break the button after hitting it so hard
fucking hell this cat knows how to throw a party
I text back embarrassingly fast
or three hours later
there is no in between
Slow. Clap. http://ift.tt/1euhu0D
favorite linguist joke and i will never not reblog it
Big dogs who think they are lap dogs