i drew this when i was drunk

posted 10 hours ago with 558 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:tuesdayalissia

(Source: cooltennant)

posted 10 hours ago with 1,379 notes
via:team-superwhogames source:cooltennant


what is the actual purpose of fingernails other than to paint them pretty colors and claw out the eyes of your enemies

posted 10 hours ago with 4,117 notes
via:infinityonalltimelow source:seedy

(Source: condescendist)

posted 10 hours ago with 236,536 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:condescendist

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)




There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele


(Source: meidosuji)

posted 10 hours ago with 342,717 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:meidosuji

I stay alive for like 3 people lol

(Source: wreckfull)

posted 10 hours ago with 270,313 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:wreckfull


what if squidward was a rapper and after all of his songs he went “squid. word”

(Source: motomis)

posted 10 hours ago with 166,180 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:motomis



It’s fucking red.

I’ve literally waited for this video for years. i’ve been reading the gif in the wrong tone the entire time

(Source: fangirlshideout)

posted 10 hours ago with 361,733 notes
via:50shadesofgeekblog source:fangirlshideout





How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat.

There is no downside to this at all

This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great.

I’d break the button after hitting it so hard

(Source: honeyipwnedthekids)


fucking hell this cat knows how to throw a party

posted 10 hours ago with 365,305 notes
via:aint-nobody-got-time-for-that source:happyhelmut


I text back embarrassingly fast

or three hours later

there is no in between

(Source: 50shadezofcarter)

posted 10 hours ago with 214,043 notes
via:notenuf source:50shadezofcarter




Slow. Clap. http://ift.tt/1euhu0D

favorite linguist joke and i will never not reblog it


posted 10 hours ago with 113,829 notes
via:keepshipping source:georgetakei


Big dogs who think they are lap dogs

coulson + interrupting villains

(Source: the-average-gatsby)

cursor by thetremblingofmyhand